Singleton

While youth ministry makes the majority of these posts, today I want to look at another demographic in our churches, one that often is overlooked.

Today's readings really focus on marriage. As someone who is a professional bridesmaid, I've seen my fair share of Catholic and non-Catholic weddings. I have the dyed to match shoes to prove it. However, I am one of the vast population of Singleton. Between that fact and the two ministries I work with in addition to youth ministry, I am always aware of how our churches deal with those who are unmarried.

The young adult ministry is a mixture of singles and married. I also work with a group of adults in their 40s and 50s who are single (never married, divorced, widows, widowers). Often they feel isolated, excluded, or out-of-place at parishes. Even 'whole parish' events such as picnics or holiday celebrations give a de facto feel that they are for families with children. In our parish's efforts to assemble a pictorial directory, I hear from members of our young adult and middle singles groups that they either genuinely thought the directory was just for families or they are uncomfortable being pictured by themselves.

As we spend today's readings reflecting on marriage, don't forget those residing in Singleton. They feel awkward enough. Sometimes even I, as a staff member, will sit there during the homily or announcements and say, "Wow, this really doesn't relate to my lived experience. I don't have kids and all Father is using as stories are bits about having young children," or "That sounds like it might be a great event, but it seems to be geared toward kids and their parents. They talked about games and special food for the kids, but nothing about what was offered for the adults."

Some things to consider - how is your language for announcements, flyers, and other advertisements of general events? Do you recognize the full lives these individuals have or do you fall prey to the "of course you have tons of free time since you don't have kids" idea? Are homilies including references and stories that singles can relate to? Are you reaching out to singles to participate in parish life? How can you help those that might be intimidated or embarrassed to attend alone feel welcome and comfortable?