Mangoes & Greek Salad

Today is a mango sticky rice & Greek salad sort of day.  What exactly, dear reader, does that mean?  - Basically my schedule is so hectic that I didn't have time to put together a lunch or dinner.  Thankfully lunch was included in the morning meetings I had and a Whole Foods store was on my way from the meetings to the office.

This is one of those days where I almost wish I didn't care so much about what I do.  Or that I wasn't a bit of a stubborn perfectionist.  Bad combination when you're faced with two weekends of back to back retreats, state conference wrap-up (and planning next year's), a diocesan council or two, and various other projects.  I want everything I do to be perfect partially due to my own perfectionism, but mostly because I don't want my imperfections to mar the experience of others.

Especially when it comes to faith it seems people demand perfection from those in leadership.  Hypocrisy, sin, or even just the minor everyday faults we all have are highlighted as faults with the faith, faults with the leadership, and used as an excuse to doubt or criticize.  Thus, when I am putting together an event, a h

andout, a presentation, I truly do want to make it faultless.  If there is one less thing that people can object to as they continue on their journey of faith, the better.  

However, this creates several problems.  Not the least of which is that I (like everyone else) am full of faults, sins, and unintentional hypocrisy.  No one is perfect.  I am buying into the demands that others place on me that are fundamentally unreasonable.  It also causes me extraordinary levels of worry and stress.  Not healthy, especially when your mother had a heart attack in her early 40s due to stress and so forth.  By seeking to be without fault I also am giving an implicit statement that others should be perfect and without fault.

Yes, we should strive to be without sin and strive to be like our Father.  I know that I am called to live my life as a disciple, actively and consciously.  I am called to be a disciple, not a perfectionist.  Thomas, Peter, and Paul and the lot were always falling short.  I take comfort in that.  God used their imperfections to bring light to others.  Jesus did not demand perfection from Peter.  He forgave him his denial and then asked not for faultless, but for Peter to love and feed his flock.

Not perfection, but love.  Therein lies the true call of discipleship and those of us who feel called to ministry.  We are called to love, not to be perfect.  We are called to love ourselves, our neighbor, and our God.