Needs of the Many, Needs of the Few

Within ministry, the choice between the needs of the many and the few often is a difficult one to make.  The hardest moments are when the needs of the many, those you minister to and with, come in stark contrast with the needs of the few, yourself and those you love.  

This morning was the normal frantic routine of final packing of toiletries, rechargeable batteries, and the ever misplaced glasses case.  Then, just as I hung up after calling my mother, my cell phone rang while still in my hand.  I was thrilled to see it was my closest friend, one who just moved out of state and I miss dearly.  A bit surprised to see her calling so early, I just chalked it up to her wish to talk a bit before I leave.  I only wish that was the case.  Instead I learned her father had just passed away.  Knowing this moment was coming due to a long illness, I long ago made the decision that as soon as I got this call I would pack a bag, grab my maps, call in to work and head down to help her.  After all, her kids treat me like an aunt, I know what those first days after a death are like, and it was just the only thing I could see myself doing.  Contrary to those plans, all I can do in these few hours before I leave the country seems too small.  I made a few calls, got a friend to take care of sending flowers in my name, plan to have Mass intentions set when I get into the office.  

It is these moments when my duties and call to youth ministry divide my heart and challenge my will that I find myself most disheartened.  I know that the pilgrimage I am leaving on will be a wonderful experience for all involved.  I know that my friend understands and would not wish at all for me to cancel my trip.  I know that I will see her just a few days after returning.  I know what I need to do, but it most definitely is not what I want to do.

So I will close, turn off this laptop, pack it in my backpack.  I will pray yet again for my friend, her family, and even for myself.  I will load my car, head to work, then to the airport.  But with all that I have packed, a bit of my heart will be torn off and left with my friend and her family.