Between Two Jungles

Keeping with the contrived theme of the blog, I have been caught between two jungles.  Beginning with the summer months and really continuing now for the next year.

A short summary of the conflict isn't too easy.  There were things mentioned over the summer - tragedies in the lives of my closest friends, travels to see family, and the like.  Now, I am also facing the fact that my brother is deployed to Iraq.  It has taken a toll on me and my ministry.

Most noticeably, the personal issues manifested themselves in one of the nastiest head colds I've ever had.  Likely worsened by the chaos of the first three weeks of youth group and the very early youth retreat, I was down for the count most of last week.  As it was last Tuesday that my brother left for the Middle East, it left me physically and emotionally wiped out.  Apparently, some people also have noticed I am not quite as upbeat or, as one of the school teachers put it 'chipper', as I normally am.  Again, a major component of this is my brother, a smaller portion, exhaustion.

All of these have led to some minor revelations and practical changes.  The simplest is that due to the cold, I have finally gotten back into a normal sleep pattern and a sufficient amount of daily sleep.  Granted last week I was napping for a significant portion of the day, but it has carried through this week in so far as I am getting around 7 hours of sleep a night.  Not bad for a youth minister.

All the worry, stress, and sheer quantity of work, family issues, and the like has led me to a better prayer time.  In the way of so many before me in the Catholic faith, when my own words fail me, I have turned to the Rosary.  I know I am praying for my brother's safety, safe return, my family, and all those I know deployed.  However, I do not know what to pray for in regards to helping them in the day to day life in Iraq.  I also thought and reflected on the power of Mary's intercession.  If ever there was a woman who had no control over the events and dangers surrounding a loved one's life, it is Mary.  Her intercession cannot harm my prayers.  I have also been spending more time reading my Bible.  On the days that I have not had to head into the office until later, I also have picked up the book, A Pilgrim Pope.

The combination of sleep and better prayer time in the very early morning are leading me into a more solid routine to my day.  This helps me to place things in perspective before being inundated with the massive quantities of email, phone calls, drop-ins, mail, and other business of being a youth minister.  I also hope it will help to center me so that the coming year does not overwhelm.

By really focusing on a rhythm to life, I am able to get back into habits that the chaos of the summer and the stresses of early fall pushed to the side.  I am again reading voraciously.  Currently I am utterly engrossed in A Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin.  To read something that is unrelated to ministry or the Church is incredibly helpful.  On a less cultured note, I am also enjoying watching the DVDs of the first two seasons of Heroes.  Mind you, it is no West Wing, but it is entertaining.  I also have made time to cook, whether an Indian chickpea recipe or Pumpkin bread, the creative, relaxing activity is immensely helpful.  Plus it makes my condo smell wonderful.

As much as I have joked about how I have no regular pattern to my schedule, I am seeing how incredibly necessary it is.  I skated through the past five years, probably based on my youth and sheer force of will.  The added responsibilities professionally and personally will not continue to allow that.  This will hopefully be a much better balanced year.