What If

Letters to Juliet will probably never rank in the top 100 Films of All Time.  However, I do love the letter that is read aloud near the end.  The words "What If" are oh so powerful.  Hindsight, doubt, wishful thinking, rose colored glasses all come into play when we allow ourselves to mentally meander down the trail of our lives' "what ifs."

The Washington Post has an interesting slide show of "Things You Would Have Said."  It is very easy to imagine a discussion for either a youth or young adult group emerging from this. 

It would be easy to take a discussion of hindsight, fears, insecurities, judgements, and so on.  You could also talk of how we take people for granted or do not stand up for things that we later wish we would have.

You could easily speak about grief and not being able to have closure with a loved one or a lost relationship.  There is also the topic of heroes and people who have had a positive influence on our lives that we have not thanked.

Just an idea.  For what it is worth.

The World Will Be Watching

You may have heard of this slightly anticipated film, The Hunger Games, is opening this weekend.  A significant portion of the youth group here will likely be falling asleep in their Friday classes as they are heading to the midnight showing.

Now, I am not that crazy, especially as I am still getting over a very nasty bug and have the Michigan Catholic Young Adult Conference Friday and Saturday.  However, I will be going to see it on Monday afternoon (me, Imax, and a tub of popcorn - it's a date).

The books offer countless points for discussion.  Accordingly, it didn't take much for the teens to convince me of the need to use the trilogy as the texts for the April, May, and June book club discussions.

For those that love history and want to draw parallels to the Roman Empire and Christ's teaching you can compare Panem to Rome.  The Games to the Coliseum.  The pull of the worldly illusion to the call to love of Christ.

For those that wish to focus on relationships (afterall, we work with teens), you can spend hours discussing the main characters as friends, families, strangers who become surrogate sisters, strangers who support, strangers who destroy, and strangers who become enemies.

For those that have a social justice bent, there is plenty to examine through the lens of Catholic Social teaching.  The value of life, the idea of Common Good, preferential option for the poor, rights of workers.

There is just so much.  I hope that the movies end up being well enough done that we can use them in youth ministry.  While there are the issues of violence to address, I believe The Hunger Games trilogy offer some unique opportunities of discussion and reflection with the youth.

My Next 10 Years

Today was my annual review and finding out whether the teens will have to put up with me for yet another year.  Alas all you teens here who cast disparaging looks at the Bucky Badger pillows, you shall have to submit to their gaze for at least one more year. 

Since my pastor is very good at giving you feed back, these annual reviews are not surprising in their content.  However, I am an Olympic-class worrier, so I still get nervous.  In our conversation it came up that this is my 9th year here and thus, the letter I signed for next year, states that I will have a 10th at the parish.

What do I want the next 10 years to look like?  The first year I spent trying to figure things out and keep my head above water.  The second year I was able to institute a few changes and begin making things fit a bit more of my way of doing things than my predecessor.  From there on, I've had a free hand to try things, sustain things, and even at times, end things.

Again, what do I want to do with the next 10 years?  What are the priorities for the ministries? What needs to be changed? What do we want changed?  What needs to be kept the same? What do we want to keep the same? Where are the new ideas? How can we incorporate them? There are a multitude of questions to ask and I cannot wait to enter into a discerning discussion with the youth, young adults, and middle singles.

All with Bucky Badger looking on from his perch on the pillow in the youth room.

Lent and a Youth Minister

As odd as it may sound, I love Lent.  Particularly as the years I have been in ministry lengthen, it continues to grow as my favorite time in the Church calendar.

The reason is simple, it drives me to spend more time focusing on where my relationship with God is.  Through the focus on the prayer, fasting, and almsgiving I come to more closely examine my faith and spirituality and to spend more time with God.

There is also the added benefit that many of the programs in all the ministries I oversee have a more reflective tone to them.  The youth group focuses on reviewing the pillars of Lent, temptation, God's love, and the Triduum.  The young adult group spends time focusing on new ways to live Lent, usually by utilizing a text (this year it is Bridges to Contemplative Living with Thomas Merton: Lent and Holy Week).  Add to those experiences Taize prayer, the Living Way of the Cross (writing it and directing it), the communal penance service, the youth retreat, etc. and this time of year becomes a time of spiritual renewal for me and the ministris.

Without much fear, I can hazard the assumption that this time of year is busy for all in parish ministry.  Despite that, I challenge you to ensure this is also a time for you to enter into Lent and find the renewed right relationship with God that can sometimes be pushed aside in the chaos of day to day ministry.

Say When

After only 8 years, I can say I've learned the important lesson of "when to say when."

"Saying when" for those not familiar with the term, is best understood in an example.  When I was a bit too little to scoop my own mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving, whatever relative with the advantage of full adult height would take the serving bowl of potatoes and say, "Say when."  I would then let them pile an astronomical amount of mashed potatoes on my bowl before I finally said the magic word, "When," and they passed the now severely diminished bowl along.  Now if that bowl had been stuffing or rum cake, the "when" would likely have been after the first very small spoonful.

In ministry it is hard to say when.  Say when it is time to go home despite a lengthy, ever increasing to-do list.  Say when you need to take a few days away even if it means missing the regional young adult picnic or your seniors' play.  Say when you cannot add another program to your ministries because you want at least one night at home.  All those demands are worthy and we want to fulfill them.

But one thing I learned from all those mashed potatoes, if you don't say when soon enough, and you plow through them all, then at some point, you reach a point where you're so stuffed you just can't move.  Same with ministry - you become so full of stress and exhaustion that it hits you full force.  For me, I tend to get physically ill (my doctor now knows how to tell when I've had a major, international event - I end up needing antibiotics or such).

So today, with a sinus headache raging due to a headcold, I am going to say enough for this week.  I am going to head home and do nothing for the rest of today and tomorrow.  Then I will be ready for youth leadership on Sunday and the Parish Mission.

Enough.

Frustrations

I would guess I am not the only one to face this problem.  Our young adult group meets on Tuesdays.  It has done so for longer than my tenure here at the parish.  It has met on Tuesdays for well over 10 years.  During particular liturgical seasons our parish offers small groups.  When is the young adult small group being offered?  Tuesdays at 7 pm.  Arghhhh!

First this is a great moment to remind me of a few things.  It makes me remember that I need to always keep conversations rolling between all of my coworkers.  None of us are islands in ministry.  It also reminds me that I need to keep advocating for our young adult ministry to be respected as an estabished and crucial aspect of our parish life.

Second, it is offering me a chance to think outside of the box.  I may need to bow to the fact that the small groups are already beginning registration and may not be able to be rescheduled.  If this is true, then I will move our young adult group during the Lenten season.  Likely I will need to change my day off to another day or shift several meetings to an alternate depending on which day we choose.  I also have the chance to look at some resources.  Particularly if we shift the day to Mondays, my normal day off, I want an option that will not require me to completely create the night's discussion and content which the current calendar has me doing.

Have you ever had this problem or something similar?  How did you handle it?

Do you have any great Lenten resources you enjoy using?  If not, why not look at Young Adult Ministry in a Box?  They have a whole series of options for you!

To Texas and Back

Hello all!

Despite my intentions to the contrary, I went dark last week while I headed to the NCYAMA Executive Board meeting that occurs along with the NFCYM membership meeting.  Between delayed flights, lack of internet connection in various places and then coming down with a mild-yet-annoyingly-lingering cold, I have been remiss in getting all but the essentials covered.

NCYAMA has many great things in the works that you should keep an eye out for if you are in the field of young audlt ministry or have young adults in your ministry (YAs who volunteer with youth ministry, YAs in marriage preparation classes, YAs in RCIA, etc.).

First, there is the national forum in November.  Watch the NCYAMA website for more information.  Or drop me a comment or email as I'm the one on the website's contact for it!

Second, we are proud to have the incredible resource: Young Adult Ministry in a Box to offer.  This is great for anyone in young adult ministry whether you are looking at how to start your ministry or how to sustain your current ministry or revitalize a flagging one.

Well, I need to get back to preparing tonight's trivia game on St. Valentine's Day, the saints in general, and movies related to 'saints' for our young adult group.

May you have a happy Valentine's day!  And may Sts. Cyril and Methodius not feel too left out today.