Confession of a Life-Long Nerd

When I was a kid, I wrote to NASA as part of an effort to earn a badge in Girl Scouts. I have no idea any longer what the badge was, however, in response I got the most incredible thing in the world. (Here it is, a total nerd moment) They sent me a huge 3" binder full of information and activities. It was for teachers, but my precocious self was in seventh heaven. Add to that the 6' poster of the space suit with diagrams and detailed information and I was ready to faint from happiness. Until it dawned on me they wouldn't want someone without perfect vision to fly the space shuttle, that was my dream job.

Thus it should not be a surprise that I carefully follow NASA and the space exploration of other countries. With the Mars exploration that has been going on for many years, I am always awed by the questions that arise, the truly other-worldly photos, and the perspective offered. It reminds me to view the world through the awe-filled, open-minded view of a child. Even the oldest of the old here on Earth offers but a blink of the Universe's life. We are all children compared to the stars, planets, and chilly light of the Universe that we float through.

When I was reading a post about some mystery spheres on Mars, I realized that wonder I feel when I look to the stars does not necessarily permeate all the other areas of my life. Do I approach the wonders of God and his plan with such awe and inspiration? Do I look to the world around me and see the good and beautiful and accordingly offer my heartfelt response of awe? Do I see the complex, wonderful, creatures that are my fellow human beings and offer up thanks and awe for their beauty and wonder?

It is so easy these days for us, and those we minister to and with, to become immersed in the worries, trials and tribulations. We can do so to such a degree that we fail to see the awesome creation around us. We fail to see the beauty due to the desolation. I am not saying we should ignore those flaws and failings around us. Rather we should acknowledge the good, the wonderful, the awesome and help those to grow so as to overtake the dark, the pain, and the failings.

Do you respond in awe? Do you help those in your ministry to do so?

Zombies, the Military, and Ministry

I never thought about the scenario in which zombies, the military, and ministry would form a coherent subject, but nonetheless, here it is.

Thanks to Twitter, I saw this article: Zombie Apocalypse Training: HALO Corp. to train Military, Law Enforcement on Virus Outbreak.

Now if that's not a great headline, I just don't know what is. Go ahead and have a debate on whether or not you think this is reasonable. There are underlying truths (albeit they are dressed in quality make up) - the challenges of a viral outbreak, not having a supply of more than a few days of food & water available for a large metropolis (cf NOLA during Katrina, imagine if a city was quarantined).

Here's a case where a set of very real considerations, problems and challenges are being addressed in a creative and engaging way.

Are we doing the same in our ministries? When we see challenges with the populations we work with, are we simply doing the same topics, trainings, and methodologies that have been in our tool kits for years? Or are we thinking creatively and searching out new paradigms, new tools, and even a bit of (good) drama to address the issues?

Keeping It Alive

I'm at the start of my tenth year in youth & young adult ministry. Besides making me realize that I'm getting older (despite still feeling about 10 at times), it is a point where I am reminded that I need to make sure things are kept fresh, relevant, and alive in the ministries.

Ruts are easy to get caught in, personally and professionally.

Since the start of August I am pushing myself out of ruts and into new habits and new adventures. I'm developing new habits and life choices personally that are giving me new hobbies, new ways to connect with others outside of work, and a more joyful state of being.

Professionally I am cleaning the cobwebs. Literally and figuratively. I spent last Wednesday after the conclusion of the 7 am Mass cleaning the youth room. Piles of garbage and recyclables went out the door. Everything was reorganized and cleaned. All I need are a few more plastic tubs for storage and we're set in that regard.  I do want to find some new art for the walls though.

We, the respective leadership teams and I, are also addressing where the various ministries are at and where they should be going.  The youth have jumped on board with great enthusiasm and immense creativity. Using ideas from Positively Dangerous (highly recommend this if you aren't already familiar with it), we're re-imagining every youth ministry activity.

The young adult ministry is repackaging itself. We're ditching the old name which was confusing. We're restructuring our activities. New resources gleaned from Young Adult Ministry in a Box are being applied. Ideas from other adult ministries like RCIA, the adult faith formation program, and small group ministries are being examined and tied into our plans.

The excitement is high among all the leaders and me. I know there will be plenty of frustrations, but hopefully with grace and prayer, things will be blessed.

Guatemala: Seeing the Country

After such a hard week of work, the kids (and the adults!) were more than ready for a chance to relax and see more of the beautiful country. As there were a few long bus rides, we did get to see quite a bit as we drove through the highlands towards Lake Attilan. We also enjoyed the much briefer drive to Antigua. All too soon, the weekend ended and we were bound for the airport extremely early on Monday morning.

Here is the email from Saturday:

We just had a wonderful day. The kids enjoyed long naps in the bus on the way to and from Lake Atitlan (3 hours each way).  They will also have spectacular photos to share of the beautiful lake and surrounding volcanoes.
The boat ride across the lake felt a bit like a roller coaster, but the kids really enjoyed it.  We saw a church that played a role during the "dark times" before heading to a great restaurant.  A few teens ventured to try the more typical Guatemalan food, but many stuck with safe chicken sandwiches.  Happily full, we headed out to wander through the street vendors and to a shop that had beautiful paintings.  
Then it was back to the boat to cross the lake and back on the bus for our ride home. Now the kids are relaxing and enjoying a few games before dinner.  We still hope to get them settled fairly early so that we can have a fresh day tomorrow in Antigua.  As it is Andres' home, we are excited to see the city through his eyes - and he knows all the best places for food, shopping, and sight seeing.
The week has flown by; it is incredible to believe that we only have one more day here.

And Sunday:

Today was the day in Antigua.  We enjoyed a more traditional breakfast before loading into the bus.  Thanks to Andres, we were able to see some special sights including an outdoor art exhibition at a hotel that also could boast of one of the best views of Antigua.
We then headed into town where we went to another hotel that is built around the ruins of the old city. We also attended mass at the hotel in the church that was built into or rather around the ruins of the old church.  Then it was off to the coffee plantation before lunch.  
Lunch was a wonderful meal.  With our stomachs full we ventured out to the jade factory.  Andres introduced us to his father who also happened to be our guide. We learned quite a bit and a few of us found our glyph in the Mayan calendar for our birthdays.  We are a group of bats, snakes, jaguars, fish, and more!
From the more refined experience of the jade factory, we headed to the colorful chaos of the markets. The kids really had fun trying to barter for the best prices.  Many will have just as much fun trying to fit it all into their bags.
What they don't know is that we will be meeting to head to breakfast at 6 am.  Monday morning traffic in the city is awful, even by their standards so we need to allow over 2 hours for a drive that took about 30 minutes when we arrived.

Guatemala: Saying Goodbye

I am always so impressed with the children at the school. The skits, acrobatics, dances, and songs that they present to us when we arrive and on our last day with them are always so beautiful and insightful. 

Again, I'll summarize the day with the email:

This morning we spent a bit of time in the elementary school classrooms. Then there was another assembly for the kids to yet again impress us with their acting, dancing, and musical skills.  They danced a traditional indigenous dance that translates best to "happy little pony dance."  Your teens were a huge hit by dancing a routine and then doing a jump rope routine for the kids.  They also invited the children to join them and at that point it was chaos. The children were so excited to jump rope.
As entertaining as the morning was, the noon hour became rather intense. We were challenged to a game of soccer.  Those kids were tough! I hate to say it, we lost to the 6th grade boys.
After the game, it was time for a well deserved break and we headed to the library for lunch.  Lunch was followed by a bit more time in the garden area with machetes, pick axes and garden shears.  
During our time in the garden, the girls got some of the workers and the police officers to sing. It was quite the cultural exchange.
When we concluded our time at the school, we made a quick stop at the bank before returning to the retreat center.  This evening will be fairly quiet as the adults will have a meeting to make sure we are all on the same page for the weekend and after our evening reflection we will have a short meeting to share that information with the kids.

What I loved about this day was the opportunities the teens had to interact with the children, the police officers, and a few staff throughout the day. While the work we did was necessary, it is the stories and experiences we bring home and share with other that offer the greatest service to the children and people of the garbage dump community.

They live in a culture which either denies their existence or minimizes their humanity. By giving voice to their stories and their lives, we are honoring their humanity and acknowledging their inherent and inestimable value as God's children. Therein lies the true and most valuable service. They give us a great responsibility. Whether we honor that remains to be seen.

Guatemala: An Easier Day

After working on the cement roof, it was a welcome reprieve to know that our next day would allow us to spend our mornings in the classrooms and nursery rooms. Here is a bit of an editorial - if you are traveling on a service trip to another country it really is incredibly wonderful to have even a small grasp of the language. It shows respect and honors the culture. It also is incredibly practical. I've spent the last year polishing up my Spanish and the studying helped. Hopefully by next year, my conversational abilities will have improved even more.

Here's what I sent to parents:

Subject: Machetes and Pick AxesWell, I believe today's subject caught your attention.
Yes, your teens used machetes today. And pick axes.  And no, they did not cause bodily harm to anyone.  Our afternoon was spent clearing the yard area of the classrooms that we helped roof yesterday (more on that below).  To remove the tall grasses and massive weeds, they gave us more formidable tools that what we would likely see lawn care professionals use Stateside.  They got the job done though.
The morning was spent in classrooms and nursery rooms.  The kids had a great time playing and learning with the children in the school and nursery. Many found that they had a better grasp of the language than they initially thought.
Now, I must confess, your kids are practicing jump rope routines while I am enjoying a reprieve with my feet up.  They are practicing routines and skits that will be part of the farewell assembly at the school tomorrow morning. The children will do a few more skits and such for us. In turn, we will show off our various skills and talents. As many of your teens competed in the Heartbeats jump rope group, they thought this would be fun for the kids to see. Thus we also had the adventure of stopping at a street side stall to buy rope. We plan on adding that to the donations to the school.

One downfall to the service trips is that they often aggravate my bad ankle. Ironically the first time I sprained it was on the first service trip I ever went on, an alternative spring break in college. It was also my first real leadership role in ministry. Two more sprains later, it periodically bugs me enough that I find myself  propping it up on a pillow with an ice pack (20 minutes on, 20 minutes off). Here too I find a few lessons. When I hit those moments when my ankle just won't let me do anything any more, it reminds me that I need to let myself be served and to do so with grace. That is not easy. After all, I see it as part of my mission and call to serve others. Letting others serve me just feels off. That's just my pride speaking. I need to listen to the humility coming from my left ankle more often.

Concrete, Concrete, Everywhere

Our day after orientation was a massive day of work. We were tasked with the construction of a concrete roof. It was quite the task to say the very least. Here's the email to the parents describing our day:

 I'll go into greater detail as to why our entire group has developed a lifelong aversion to concrete.  Yesterday we moved over 60 wheelbarrows of dirt, scores of barrow-fulls of stones, and countless bags of concrete mix.  Then we had to stir this immensely heavy mixture before gallons upon gallons of water were added and more mixing was required.
Once the mixture was created, we had to haul buckets of the wet concrete mix up a ladder to the roof. The empty buckets then had to be tossed down, caught, and put out to be reloaded.  After a few struggles to find a good system, the kids found a process that worked and they were able to get the classroom roof covered.  Of course we left the retreat center at 6 am so we could begin work by 7 am and did not return until nearly 6 pm.  However, you should be proud of the work that the teens did as it far exceeded the expectations of the school staff.
Needless to say, by the time we at dinner we were nearly falling asleep at the table.  Reflection was short and we shooed the kids to bed as early as possible.

It was wonderful to see the kids work so hard. What astounded me was the various individuals who trickled into the yard to assist. A woman, a parent of a student I believe, came to help. She was dressed as most were in the garbage dump community, worn shirt and shorts. Her shoes were simply the inexpensive flip flops that are seen for a dollar or two at supermarkets. She stood in the cement, hauling buckets and working harder than all the teens, chaperone, and myself. Periodically she would dip her feet in a bucket to wash the cement off as it would get very irritating. She chatted, smiled, and worked. In her was the face of God. 

Guatemala: Orientation Day

To begin, here's the email sent to parents from Guatemala with a summary of our day:

After a great breakfast we were able to experience the formidable rush hour traffic that is apparently worse on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays. I have no idea why those three days are the worst, but that is what we were told. We picked up two police officers from the city hall who escorted us all day before we headed to the school, Francisco Coll.  
As soon as we arrived the children had a wonderful variety show for us. A skit about life in the garbage dump community, tricks of coordination (somersaults, flips, hula hoops), indigenous dances, and indigenous music rounded out the morning.  Then we were walked through a few of the homes. Many of the residents were generous to not only open their homes to us, but to share their stories. The teens saw that entire families lived in spaces smaller than their bedrooms at home.  A family of seven counted themselves lucky to have the regular income of roughly $5 per day - a small fortune in Zone 7, the garbage dump area.
Once the home tours were completed, we were escorted to the nursery. The babies, age a few months to pre-school, were a great favorite with all the teens. We heard more stories of the creation of the nursery and school.  Then we were walked through the adjacent area of the recycling area.  This is nothing like what you might picture - it is filthy, chaotic, and the overwhelming stench of the garbage dump invades all your sense.
At that point we loaded back on our bus to drive to the cemetery. An odd destination, yes, but as it is on the cliff that gives you a bird's eye view of the garbage dump cavern, it was a good way for the teens to see the magnitude of the dump.
By this time we were all ready for lunch. Several of the kids helped Andres pick out the food that would make up our lunches for the week when we stopped at a supermarket. Then we went across the street to a park where we assembled our lunches of peanut butter sandwiches, chips, apples, cookies and iced tea. 
Our next stop was to return to the area of the garbage dump, this time to the Santa Maria center. There we heard stories from the Paso a Paso program. This is a scholarship program to help the children who finish at Francisco Coll continue on into high school and college. They offer tutoring and trade training. We also heard more about life in Guatemala City in general and the garbage dump community specifically.

As I knew what to expect from a previous trip three years ago, it was a day of memory and seeing what had changed. The nursery had been improved upon and the school was in need of more space. The people were still the most hospitable individuals I ever met. The smell still hit you like a physical force. The children still, like all children, want to sit next to the new people and yearn for their attention.

What was the most beautiful moment of the day was a conversation between one of our teens and the director of the Paso a Paso program. This teen had been adopted from Guatemala. The director asked about her background and over the course of a few minutes was in grateful tears not only that this teen's mother bravely gave her up, but that she was welcomed into a loving home and then felt called to return to offer what she could to her birth nation. The director, who struggles with the teens and young adults fighting for higher education as they emerge from the garbage dump, recognized and named the gifts of faith, education and the love of both the birth and adopted families. For those who witnessed the conversation it was stunningly beautiful.

Gratefully Home

Silence descended upon the blog while I was in Guatemala on our service trip with International Samaritan.

It was a challenging trip in many unexpected ways, yet immensely rewarding.  Over the coming days I will post what we did and my thoughts on the activities - they include a cement roof, machetes, nursery children, the garbage dump, and much more.

The trip gave me much to consider in how we determine who goes on a service trip, expectations of behavior, dealing with cliques, and other concerns that may be a growing trend in the teens.

As it stands, this is all for today, just a simple introduction. Watch tomorrow for a summary of our first day.

Here's a teaser - cement. Lots of it.

The Jar Under the Seat

When I was driving home from some errands this morning, I started to panic. I heard a clunking and rattling noise that made my overactive imagination jump to conclusions about the size of the auto repair bill I could expect.

After a few miles of this, just as I was nearing home. I realized I could not remember putting away a jar of garlic chili sauce I knew I had purchased yesterday. It dawned on me. That rather small jar of sauce must have fell out of the bag and was rolling around under my seat hitting various things and making that racket.  Sure enough, once home I searched and found that jar resting against some supports.  Once I pulled it out, I had no more noises.

There are moments in ministry, and any job or career I would hazard, where you see a problem and you instantly jump to momentous changes or worst case scenario planning. There are definitely times such leaps of imagination are needed. However, I think that for many, if not most of those moments, stopping that panic and addressing the situation from the simplest aspect first leads to a fruitful and effective conclusion.

As this is the time of the year when I look at our ministries and the challenges, causes, and other points of concern, it is important to me to remember that while dramatic, sweeping action may seem cathartic and effective, it can cause more problems than a simpler, smaller solution would. I find myself asking - is this an engine breakdown or is it a jar under my seat?

Leggings, Guatemala, & Digital Communication

Today I am yet again reminded of the dangers of digital communication - email, social media, etc.

As we are getting within just days of our service trip to Guatemala, I had to send out information from the organization we are traveling with on this trip. In addition to some of their notes, there were answers to my questions. One is the ever charming fashion trend of leggings being pants acceptable for wear under all circumstances.

To be fair, I wore stirrup leggings back in the day of perms (I was in middle school, please forgive me). However, the accepted tops to go with said leggings were nearly to the knee sweaters and tunics. We were hot stuff, let me tell you. So while we girls were all aspiring to be Rachel or Phoebe or Monica, we at least saw that our rears were covered by our neon oversized t-shirts and color block sweaters.

Unfortunately leggings are back. We couldn't go for the fabulous twirly skirts of the 50s or the fun vamping of the roaring 20s? No? Let's bring back leggings but go for short shirts - that's a great idea (insert sarcasm)! As a youth minister this now creates modesty issues on a day to day basis. When heading to another country with different ideas of appropriate clothing, it can create serious safety concerns.

Thus this has been a subject that I sent another reminder about in an email today. I had mentioned that leggings were not allowed at our June meeting and in a previous email. As this email included the broader text from our travel group on what we should wear for work pants at the site, I just copied and pasted the whole section from the organization's original email.

If I can reference one popular TV series, I'll go for another. I know I sound like the Soup Nazi prior to this trip. The safety concerns force me to be more strict than usual.

Additionally, 8 of the 9 families sending teens on this trip are not regular youth group attendees. They have no point of reference for how I do things, my general attitude, tone of voice, or generally adaptable methodologies.  Thus, with this reminder I sent, a mother replied with all good intentions and in a kindly worded manner (thank you so much for that). She was concerned I was making assumptions about the expected behavior and that the fact that there are issues that, if violated, result in being sent home being reiterated to frequently.

Due to the electronic communication, my tone likely is a challenge to pick up in the email. Plus there was text I did not write. This reminds me of a couple things -

First, don't take those replies from parents personally. They, just like me, only want to ensure their teens are safe, happy, healthy, and growing in faith and maturity.

Second, always be conscientious when choosing your words in an email. Particularly when sending to those you are not familiar with how they will interpret your words or you theirs.

Hunger Games and Holy Week

With the world still buzzing about The Hunger Games I have a few more thoughts.

As I continue to think about the story (film & book) it haunts me.  I am finding articles and reflections that I file into a folder for the book club discussion we will be having later this month.  And I keep reflecting.

Yes the story is violent.  Yes, there is an oppressive and depressive mood that permeates the story.  Yes, there are many things that as pieces you can point to and be valid in your objections.

But there is more.

What I find wonderful at the very first glance is the female heroes offered to the youth.  In much the same way that I love that the teens in my youth group love the British TV show, Doctor Who, I find comfort in their seeing Katniss as a role model.  Oh, just like every other teen girl she struggles with her identity, her role in life, her understanding of relationships.  Unlike other recent teen novel heroines, she has inner strength, she is intelligent, she fights for what she loves and believes in.  She does not passively sit by while life happens to her; she shapes the world around her in a proactive and thoughtful manner.

Perhaps it takes more thought than the teens initially give the film, but the violence itself is a point of consideration.  While there is violence, the book does not extol the virtues of that violence.  Rather, like the soldiers or those who have lived in violent situations attest, it offers a view of the devastation, chaos, and irrational nature of violence.  The story uses violence to challenge our view on violence as entertainment or a means to an end.  It questions whether that end justifies the means.  Few who read the story or see the film could argue that the conclusion is anything other than a disavowal of violence.

In fact, all the acts of rebellion that are mentioned are those that Gandhi or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. would have happily embraced.  The silence of District 12 after Katniss volunteers.  The bread from Rue's district.  The flowers for Rue.  The power of love to over throw the violent, calculating system.  Far from idealizing or promoting violence, The Hunger Games, offers a view where peaceful resistance, silence, and love become earth shattering acts of rebellion.

There is much to consider.  At a time when we in the Catholic Church look to the Lord's Last Supper, his voluntary sacrifice to save us all, and the hope we have in his great, all-encompassing love, we can see how The Hunger Games  will be far from anathema to our beliefs. 

What If

Letters to Juliet will probably never rank in the top 100 Films of All Time.  However, I do love the letter that is read aloud near the end.  The words "What If" are oh so powerful.  Hindsight, doubt, wishful thinking, rose colored glasses all come into play when we allow ourselves to mentally meander down the trail of our lives' "what ifs."

The Washington Post has an interesting slide show of "Things You Would Have Said."  It is very easy to imagine a discussion for either a youth or young adult group emerging from this. 

It would be easy to take a discussion of hindsight, fears, insecurities, judgements, and so on.  You could also talk of how we take people for granted or do not stand up for things that we later wish we would have.

You could easily speak about grief and not being able to have closure with a loved one or a lost relationship.  There is also the topic of heroes and people who have had a positive influence on our lives that we have not thanked.

Just an idea.  For what it is worth.

The World Will Be Watching

You may have heard of this slightly anticipated film, The Hunger Games, is opening this weekend.  A significant portion of the youth group here will likely be falling asleep in their Friday classes as they are heading to the midnight showing.

Now, I am not that crazy, especially as I am still getting over a very nasty bug and have the Michigan Catholic Young Adult Conference Friday and Saturday.  However, I will be going to see it on Monday afternoon (me, Imax, and a tub of popcorn - it's a date).

The books offer countless points for discussion.  Accordingly, it didn't take much for the teens to convince me of the need to use the trilogy as the texts for the April, May, and June book club discussions.

For those that love history and want to draw parallels to the Roman Empire and Christ's teaching you can compare Panem to Rome.  The Games to the Coliseum.  The pull of the worldly illusion to the call to love of Christ.

For those that wish to focus on relationships (afterall, we work with teens), you can spend hours discussing the main characters as friends, families, strangers who become surrogate sisters, strangers who support, strangers who destroy, and strangers who become enemies.

For those that have a social justice bent, there is plenty to examine through the lens of Catholic Social teaching.  The value of life, the idea of Common Good, preferential option for the poor, rights of workers.

There is just so much.  I hope that the movies end up being well enough done that we can use them in youth ministry.  While there are the issues of violence to address, I believe The Hunger Games trilogy offer some unique opportunities of discussion and reflection with the youth.

My Next 10 Years

Today was my annual review and finding out whether the teens will have to put up with me for yet another year.  Alas all you teens here who cast disparaging looks at the Bucky Badger pillows, you shall have to submit to their gaze for at least one more year. 

Since my pastor is very good at giving you feed back, these annual reviews are not surprising in their content.  However, I am an Olympic-class worrier, so I still get nervous.  In our conversation it came up that this is my 9th year here and thus, the letter I signed for next year, states that I will have a 10th at the parish.

What do I want the next 10 years to look like?  The first year I spent trying to figure things out and keep my head above water.  The second year I was able to institute a few changes and begin making things fit a bit more of my way of doing things than my predecessor.  From there on, I've had a free hand to try things, sustain things, and even at times, end things.

Again, what do I want to do with the next 10 years?  What are the priorities for the ministries? What needs to be changed? What do we want changed?  What needs to be kept the same? What do we want to keep the same? Where are the new ideas? How can we incorporate them? There are a multitude of questions to ask and I cannot wait to enter into a discerning discussion with the youth, young adults, and middle singles.

All with Bucky Badger looking on from his perch on the pillow in the youth room.

One More

In what is either a sure sign this youth & young adult minister has gone round the bend or is just really a believer in youth service trips, I just booked what will be the third trip for our youth ministry for the year.

We survived New Orleans (though my stress level was through the roof at points).

Guatemala is humming along and we're looking forward to that trip later in the summer.

But there were kids that were not ready to travel abroad, couldn't afford Guatemala, were busy during winter break, or just couldn't do one of the other two.  Thus I thought we would try Young Neighbors in Action.  I have heard great things about them from other youth ministers I respect.  Given we do have two other trips, I am limiting us to one van load.  On the upside, my parents are already planning on buying lunch and frozen custard for our group when we drive through the Milwaukee area on our way home.  That could be a selling point for the kids! [For reasons of their own understanding, the teens think my mom is incredibly cool and they love when my parents come to visit and drop by youth ministry events like our Living Way of the Cross.]

So ready or not Green Bay, we are headed your way!  It will be great for this Wisconsin native to head to her favorite state, do some good work, and introduce teens to frozen custard and cheese curds.

Research

My sophomore year of high school I was in British and World Literature for my lit course. We had to do a research paper on a novel written by a non-American author. The intended length was 5-7 pages. After weeks of research, hundreds of index cards (all color coded, labeled, and hyper-organized), I turned in a 23 page paper on Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. To be honest, this novel was and remains my favorite novel. However, when I handed in that paper, my poor teacher looked at it and shook his head. He told me no one who wrote more than 10 pages has ever gotten an A, so I shouldn't get my hopes up.

A while later we got our papers back. I broke that track record.

I didn't write this to brag, but rather point out a rather annoying personal habit - the hyper research and over-achiever resides in me, aching for a project to be let loose upon.

I mentioned I was musing over the state of the youth ministry. Accordingly, I want food for thought. Thus, I have a reading list of books to read or re-read (listed merely in the order they happen to be stacked on my desk):

• Leadership for Catholic Youth Ministry: A Comprehensive Resource. By Thomas East, et. al.
• Sustainable Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries
• The Vision of Catholic Youth Ministry edited by Robert J. McCarty
• Bringing Catholic Youth and the Bible Together edited by Brian Singer-Towns
• Growing Teen Disciples by Frank Mercadante
• Renewing the Vision by the USCCB
• Positively Dangerous by Frank Mercadante
• The Godbearing Life: The Art and Soul Tending for Youth Ministry by Kenda Creasy Dean and Ron Foster
• Contemplative Youth Ministry: Practicing the Presence of Jesus by Mark Yaconelli

I'm also highlighting articles I find online and in Group Magazine and Youth Worker (thank you to Evernote for helping to make that more organized).

I'd be curious if anyone out there has recommendations on what to read, comments on what I already have on the list, or any other thoughts you might have to share.

I have realized it is far too easy to fall into the day to day work of youth ministry and allow ourselves to believe that doing the work is sufficient. We must also be equipped. Spiritually we need to connect with God in our own lives. Theologically we must be sound in our understanding. Scientifically we must have an understanding of the way people in our ministries think, feel, and act (following some psychology feeds and Tweets is a great way to get this in understandable, reasonable sized doses). Administratively we need to have the best tools possible in our hands, on our computers, and shared with our leaders.

This research project is a chance to really dive into the theology, philosophy, and best practices of youth ministry though several points of view. Now I just have to get started! Time to get a cup of tea, open up a new Evernote notebook, and keep my dog off my keyboard.

More Recent Musings

I have fallen terribly behind on my magazines. I just read one from July/August. I finally got to the November/December Youth Worker Journal and encountered the article "From Bondage to Freedom: A Journey Toward True Discipleship in Youth Ministry."

This article was very striking for me. It hit both on the personal and professional fronts.

As a certifiable type-A, having a list like the one in the article for what a "successful disciple" is, is inherently something I want to embrace. I want to be able to put the list in my little book or on my Toodledo account and know that I did my 'disciple thing' for the day. Oh boy, that is so not the way to live as a Christian. I know that, but some days I just don't know it. You know what I mean?

Then there's the youth ministry. I do have many people looking for the youth ministry 'product.' How many at that event? How many on the service trip? What events do you have? Numbers and action plans dictate much. And those are necessary, but they are not the be all and end all. It is so easy and so tempting to believe that if we do have the right numbers and complete the annual action plans we are doing 'good ministry' and making 'successful disciples.'

Now, it is entirely possible that we are if we do those things. But Clark's points about the freedom offered to live in the grace and love of God being the source of our relationship with God and not the legalistic check list is so crucial.

Over the next six months I am working with the teens, adult leaders, and parents to evaluate where the youth ministry is and where it should be going. I want to look at the how and why, not just what and how many. This article on true discipleship is now one of our readings. I really want to examine the concepts of evangelization and discipleship in our ministries.

What sort of disciples are you forming?

Perhaps more importantly, what sort of disciple are you? For people will follow your life more than your words.

We Broke the Cell System

This past weekend was a little shin-dig in Indy called the National Catholic Youth Conference. Never heard of it? Well, honey! Let me share a few of the highlights:

• 23,000 teens swampped a city...and there were no riots. The wonderful police force who helped keep our kids safe were greeted with kind words, offered the trinkets (and hats, and moustaches) that the kids brought to trade.
• It wasn't a rock concert that brought in all those stage lights, sound systems and filled the stadium - no, it was a wonderful group of faith-filled adults sharing humor, music, and faith with the young Church.
• Those kids flooding between the Lucas Oil Stadium and the Indianapolis Conference Center weren't looking for trouble - they were looking to get the good seats at one of the fantastic workshops!
• Then there was Mass. On a Saturday night, 23,000 teens rocked LOS with entrance hymns (I think 4 or 5). Praised and worshiped God in the Word, Eucharist, and community. And spent hours happily Mass.
• Let's not forget when, under the specific instructions of Bishop Coyne, we all pulled out our phones, tablet computers, and so forth. We then happily Tweeted, emailed, texted, or Facebooked "Called to Glory!" And promptly flooded the towers in downtown Indianapolis. Oopps - what a way to go though!

But that's not the whole story.

• At an event where they had to fundraise or pay several hundred dollars to participate, I saw teens buying bagels by the dozen. Not to eat, but to give out in packages of six to the homeless people they had passed by.
• I watched teens offer seats to those with crutches, even if it meant they had to go and stand in the back of the room.
• I listened to the stories kids told after workshops of how they felt they encountered God.
• As someone in a long time military family, it warmed my heart to see kids making greeting cards to send to troops that are abroad when the teens could otherwise be playing in the games area.
• Teens shared trading items, snacks, bottles of water juice or soda.
• Teens lifted each others' spirits when exhaustion took hold.

There are times these days when things look dire and we may fall to the temptation of despair. However, these teens that descended upon Indianapolis reminded me of the great hope for our future. And the great hope of the now. For they are not the future Church. They are not the future of our nation or our world. They are the Church now. They are hope for us now.

Friday Thoughts

Since I nearly broke my wrist off a few moments ago attempting to twist the cap off my favorite beverage (Sparkling Ice Black Raspberry flavor), I have temporarily misplaced my concentration so here's a blog post instead on a few rambling thoughts.

It is pedal to the metal for final NCYC prep. I've got the kids and parents coming to a final meeting Sunday before out evening Mass. Handing out all sorts of final information including the packing list. The packing list really helps to make sure that those kids that tend to forget things bring the crucial items and those that overpack have the written limits.

I also highlight the idea of tips. The kids are good about this at restaurants (they pull out the tip calculators on their phones). Few though think of tipping the housekeeping staff and bus driver. It is customary to do this. The general idea is about $1-2 per person per day for housekeeping. So if you have several kids in a room, it will be a nice tip. Especially as kids tend to leave a natural disaster behind them each day and in the boys' rooms there will be that peculiar and yet to be identified...odor... The other tip is for the bus driver. There also the idea is about $1 per person, per day. I'm going to nab an idea from another area CYM and print envelopes for the kids with the date in one corner and the simple address "housekeeping" in the address field.

While I bring a couple of basic prepackaged snacks that the kids can take with them during the day like fruit snacks, granola bars, I encourage each family to pack another snack their teen can share with the others. This adds variety. Since we're in a hotel with microwaves in the room, I am also giving the kids microwave popcorn for at night to add to their stash of food.

On the personal side, I'm thinking of what I'm going to pack. As a vegetarian, I know that a problem for me at many of the restaurants and concessions stands will be finding vegetarian sources of protein (salads, vegetarian sandwiches are common). So I always make sure to have some bars with me that are high in protein. I also take chocolate covered espresso beans. Sad, but helpful. Two or three of those guys and I've got a second wind. My water bottle will also be crucial. I always have my pouch of first aid items, feminine hygiene products, and basic OTC medicines in my backpack. Between blisters and paper cuts a few band-aids are used just about every day.

I also would strongly recommend you plan on having Monday as a day to recover! NCYC is a fantastic experience, but with the chaos for over 12 hours with 25,000 teens and an average of 4-5 hours of sleep each night I usually come back exhausted. My dog loves the naps I inadvertently take while we're curled up on the sofa watching NCIS or L&O:SVU reruns after events like this!